How To Overcome Fear of Failure and Became Fearless

Story: Monk, Mouse and Fear (Source: Google Baba)

Once upon a time, in a village, there was a tree where mystic music was played. Under this tree, there was a hole where a mouse lived. The mouse was constantly trying to come out of its hole but would always go back inside due to fear of the cats that lived around the tree. The mouse was hungry but couldn’t come out to find food because it was afraid of being attacked and eaten by the cats.

One day, the monks who were meditating under the tree noticed the mouse’s fear. They approached the mouse and asked why it was afraid. The mouse explained that it was scared of the cats and wished it could be a cat itself, so it wouldn’t have to live in fear. The monks felt pity for the mouse and decided to turn it into a cat using their mantra.

As soon as the mouse turned into a cat, it joyfully ran away to find food. However, after a few days, the cat returned to the monks, crying. It explained that it had become afraid of dogs and had been attacked by them. The cat now wished to become a dog, so it could live without fear. Once again, the monks felt compassion for the cat and transformed it into a dog.

But even as a dog, the former mouse still lived in fear. It had a terrifying encounter with a lion and narrowly escaped. Now, the dog wanted to become a lion to roam freely without fear. The monks, feeling pity once again, turned the dog into a lion.

However, even as a lion, the former mouse continued to be fearful. It was chased by people who tried to capture and imprison it. The lion now wished to become a human, believing that only as a human could it live without fear. The compassionate monk explained to the lion that no matter what form it took, fear would always be present unless it conquered its own fear within. The lion realized the truth and transformed back into a mouse.

Moral of the Story: This tale teaches us that fear resides within us, and changing our external circumstances won’t eliminate it. If we want to overcome fear and succeed in life, we must confront and conquer our fears.

Fear is a disease that hinders our progress and prevents us from reaching our full potential. It influences our decisions and can lead us to change ourselves or our plans. Even successful individuals have faced fear at some point, but they don’t let it control them. They confront their fears and emerge victorious.

When we try something new and fail (Swimming), when we see someone doing something and fail (Business Partnership Breakup), When we set a very ambitious target for ourselves but cannot achieve it (Increasing the subscriber base on YouTube by 10 times but could achieve only 3 times), when someone told us that we can not do it and we accept it (you can not crack JEE/NEET/UPSC competition), When in our early childhood something happened to us and we assumed that it is over now (could not speak a word on the stage) and there could be many more incidents in life.

In all the above scenarios, either we failed once/twice or we assumed ourselves to be a failure based on the comments from our relatives/parents/friends/neighbours/unknown persons. Are we right in considering ourselves to be a failure or we are so fearful that we do not even want to try? We find it logical to consider that I may not be able to succeed so it is better not to even try once.

But is it helping us to reach somewhere in life or it is impacting our entire personality and we spend our entire life justifying something which we could have easily sorted out by taking some concrete action? These actions could have taken some amount of time, and energy and may have forced us to come out of our comfort zone but that would have certainly transformed us as a person.

Example: Assume that in your early childhood, you had seen some unpleasant incident in your life and it may have resulted you being in ‘extremely fearful’. Possibly you may not have even realized that something drastic has changed internally.

• Now, whenever you have to confront a tough guy in the school, you either try to negotiate with that guy or try to avoid meeting that guy.
• As you grow further, in your college days, you do not want to participate in college politics, not because you are not competent but because you are fearful of handling any tough situation.
• Now when you enter into your professional life, you prefer to have a white-collar job (sitting alone in front of the computer and feeling proud!) so that you can avoid the roughness of the shop floor and related politics.
• But now as you enter into the middle management role (after 10 to 12 years), your job is more to deal with people, manage unwanted situations, handle unknown circumstances like labour strikes, office politics, job retrenchment, difficult peer groups etc, now you cannot say that I don’t want to do it or you can not give any lame excuse.

All of a sudden, whatever you were trying to avoid for the last many years, now can not be avoided. Now here are two choices, The easy solution is to quit and justify your reason by giving any convenient answer like office politics, unprofessional atmosphere, work-life balance etc. OR you can choose to face the tough situation FINALLY, may fail initially, find it difficult to control your emotions BUT finally overcome that FEAR of facing the UNKNOWN.

In the end, the choice is within us, what kind of life we want to lead. Whether we want to always fear failure, live a life of convenience and avoid situations or want to BOLDLY face any trouble, challenge ourselves to learn a new skill, work harder than before, ACCEPT that YES, I am fearful of failure, if needed, communicate to the other person (boss, colleague, relative, spouse, children) that yes, I have a problem in dealing with such situation and I need your support.

Facing the ‘fear of failure’ is just like another habit formation. The way we practice something again and again, till we master it (singing, dancing, swimming, guitar, public speaking, accounting, data analysis, cooking, earning money from stocks), when we accept that yes, I am fearful and now I want to challenge myself and improve, the magic will start happening.

If we want to move forward in life and achieve success, we must conquer our fears. We must recognize that fear is an internal battle and cannot be overcome by simply changing our external circumstances. It requires inner strength and determination to face and overcome our fears.

1. Identify your Fears: Take a moment to reflect on what fears are holding you back in life. Acknowledge and confront them.
2. Challenge Your Fears: Once you have identified your fears, challenge them. Break them down into smaller, manageable steps and take action to overcome them.
3. Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to seek support from friends, family, or professionals who can help you face and conquer your fears.
4. Embrace Failure: Failure is a part of life, and it often stems from taking risks and confronting our fears. Embrace failure as a learning opportunity and use it to grow stronger.
5. Practice Self-care: Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is crucial in overcoming fear. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you build resilience.

Remember, fear may always be present, but it doesn’t have to control your life. Conquer your fears and embrace a life without limitations.