Story: The Old Lady (Source: Google)
A lady who was over 90 years old, had a great flair towards dressing up well, applying makeup and arranging her hair in beautiful patterns. She and her husband had been married to each other for 70 years.
After the departure of her beloved partner, having no children and no one in the family to care for her, She decided to move to a nursing home. Even on the day when she vacated her home for good, she dressed up elegantly and looked gorgeous.
After arriving at the nursing home, she had to wait patiently in the lobby for hours before the room was ready. When an attendant helped her make her way to the room, she gave the lady a visual description of the tiny space that she was meant to occupy.
“I love it”, the lady expressed with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old who had just been presented with a new puppy. “Mrs. Jones, you haven’t even seen the room yet… Just wait.” The attendant remarked.
“Well, my joy has nothing to do with the room,” The lady replied.
“Whether I like my room or not, doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it depends on how I arrange my mind, happiness is something you can decide ahead of time. And I have already decided to love my room, the people around me, and my life. It is a decision that I make every morning when I wake up. You know what? The greatest asset we all have is the power to choose how we feel.”
The lady continued speaking, as the attendant listened attentively with her mouth wide open.
“I can spend my entire day in bed thinking of the pain I am in, focusing on the parts of my body that no longer work or I can get out of bed and be thankful for those parts that do work. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes can still open, I will continue to focus on today and all the happy memories I have stored in my mind, just for this time in my life.”
The attendant was astounded by the positive attitude of the elderly lady, whose life from an external point of view, was only full of problems and hopelessness.
Actually, ‘problems’ happen automatically whereas happiness is a choice we all can make.
“Hatred” happens automatically, while “love” is a choice we all can make.
Moral of the Story:
“Complaining” is automatic whereas “Gratitude” is a choice we all can make. Let us choose to Celebrate abundance of Joy and Happiness, always.
What is FoMO?
FoMO is a relatively new psychological phenomenon (this term was introduced in 2004). FoMO is a negative emotional state resulting from unmet social relatedness needs. Some of the related synonyms are Anxiety, Depression, Low Self-esteem etc.
It is a state of mind that leads the individual to feel a deeper sense of social inferiority, loneliness or intense rage. FoMO could result from not knowing about a conversation, missing a OTT series, not attending a friend’s party or hearing that others have discovered a new discotheque.
People of all ages can experience FoMO. Everyone feels a certain level of FOMO at different times in their lives. These days people are faced with continuous uncertainty about whether they are doing enough or if they are where they should be in terms of their life. Like whenever I have more time, the questions that come to my mind are,
FoMO includes two processes; firstly, the perception of missing out, and secondly having a compulsive behaviour to maintain these social connections. Social media creates a platform for bragging; it is where things, events, and even happiness itself seem to be in competition at times. People are comparing their best, picture-perfect experiences, which may lead you to wonder what you are lacking. For example, if on LinkedIn, someone posts about the receipt of a prestigious award,
Social networking sites (SNS) provide a compensatory medium for individuals with social anxiety to address their unmet social needs in a manner other than face-to-face communication. The use of these networking sites contributes to easier communication for those with a lack of self-confidence by balancing their unmet social needs with much less effort and quickly. Example: To gain the attention of people, youngsters generally make risky and jaw-dropping Reels (Instagram) to catch the attention (jumping from the height, running across the train, standing on the edge of the building, feeding a tiger etc.)
However, this “social compensation” can be problematic when it reinforces avoidance of face-to-face and results in increasing social anxiety. These processes are likely to worsen social fears and can result in anxiety disorders as they lead to the constant need for personal validation and rewarding appraisals of a distorted sense of self. It could be as simple as frequently checking and refreshing social media for alerts and notifications. You must have observed the way passengers pounce on their mobile phones as soon as the Airplane lands.
Increased communication channels with fewer nonverbal cues may result in less warmth and closeness among those who are interacting verbally, avoiding meaningful and realistic communication. This may result in misinterpretations and misunderstanding leading to further emotional dissatisfaction and feelings of loneliness. The increased number of divorces, preference to live-in relationship before marriage, high attrition in jobs and rise in depression cases are some of the key indicators.
Impact of FoMO:
In a way, FoMO is a fear of social exclusion. Social media creates a distorted perception of the edited lives of others. The direct relationship of FoMO can be established by seeing the amount of time spent on social media as a predictor of emotional distress. Adolescents with FoMO may be likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol to fit in with peers on social media.
FoMO results in a range of negative life experiences and feelings, such as a lack of sleep, reduced life competency, emotional tension, negative effects on physical well-being, anxiety and a lack of emotional control; with intimate connections possibly being seen as a way to counter social rejection.
It also leads to a sedentary lifestyle influencing the epidemic of obesity in young adults. FoMO has been linked with not only distractibility but overall decline in productivity and worse mental health outcomes.
What to do?
The main focus on social media should be ‘control’ rather than ‘abstinence’. The idea is not to use social media but do not allow social media to use us! Social media is part and parcel of our life. It has immense benefits.
Moreover, FoMO may have increased in the last 20 years but it has existed since eternity. When we read our scriptures like Ramayana, Mahabharata and Bhagavad Gita, the key reason for all the fights is rooted in anxiety, lack of self-belief and fear of missing out.
By practising the following steps, we can improve self-confidence and self-belief.
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