Story: Boy, Father, Nails, Fence (Source: Google Baba)
Once upon a time, there used to live a young teenage boy in a small town. The boy had a very short temper and used to shout at anybody, anywhere. He didn’t think for a second before opening his mouth in anger. Everyone used to dislike him for being grumpy, short-tempered, and foul-mouthed.
One day, his father came to him and handed over a bag full of nails and a hammer. The boy got very confused. His father then said, “Dear son, you really have a very short temper, why don’t you hammer a nail every time you get angry.” The boy agreed and took the bag full of nails.
By the night the fence had 40 nails hammered in it, and it was just the first day. A week later, the fence had around 100 nails. Soon the days passed and the number of nails began to lessen and eventually stopped. The boy finally realized that it was easier to control his anger than pinch a nail into the fence. The boy realized this and went to his father. His father appreciated him and suggested another idea to him.
The father said, “Now that you have learned to control your temper, why don’t you start to pull out the nail each day you successfully control your temper.” The boy agreed and began to pull a nail out each day he was calm and didn’t lose his temper.
A few days later all the nails were pulled out of the fence, and the boy happily went to his father and told him about it. The father listened to him, held his hands, and took him near the fence.
The father then said “Son you had a very short temper but you learned to control it but look at this fence. It still has holes in it that can never be fixed like before.” The boy started to understand what his father was saying. The father continued “You always speak harsh things to people in anger, which leaves a deep impact on them. These impacts are like a scar to them which they will remember forever.”
Moral of the Controlling Anger Story
One must keep control of his temper and mouth, as people often speak harsh language out of anger that can deeply hurt someone. For example, if a glass is broken, you may fix it, but the cracks will remain forever. Similarly, if you break out on someone out of anger and apologize later on it will still have a bad impact on the person.
Many times, you get angry 😡 when things don’t go your way. It could be that your child is not doing good in studies, someone hit your car, someone in the relatives misbehaves with you or the boss speak badly with you.
In all the above situations, you justify your stand that it is ok to be angry as this is the only way to deal with the situation. You also see around us and found that there are many people who are dealing with the situation in the same way.
If you look back now after a gap of a day, week, month or year, do you think you could have behaved differently or the same way? There could be a possibility that you may realize that you could have responded differently, in a much better and more responsible way.
Another interesting question that you can ask yourselves is that “Will everyone behave in the same manner as you did? The answer is No.” People are different and they are bound to behave differently in the same situation.
During the Covid lockdown, if everyone was scared, depressed, lonely, uncertain, feeling low, happy, enjoying, learning new skills like cooking etc. People responded differently to the same situation. Some people had the most horrible time of their lives and many had the most beautiful and cherished memories of the same time.
But why does it happen that in the same situation, people behave differently?
Actually, the situation/problem does not have any power. We give power to it by thinking more and more about it, feeling hopeless and creating negative thoughts. It is a result of our inner programming of the mind which results in our reaction to a particular situation. This programming is based on our karmic account.
What to do now? Should we continue in the same way or there can be a way to change it for the better?
There are two simple thoughts to change your existing programming and keep yourself happy and contented.
First: I am the creator of my thoughts like anger or happiness and not the situation or person.
Second: I have all the power to choose my response to any situation or problem.
Does it mean that once we start chanting the above 2 thoughts, the result will be instantaneous? Again, the answer is No. It took years to create a Sanskar, it will take some time to create a new Sanskar. You will fail in the beginning many times but if you continue to strive to improve yourselves as ‘I am the creator of my thoughts and no one else’, there is a high possibility that you will improve.
The more you will make yourselves responsible for your thoughts, the more you will be empowering yourself and making yourself stronger to face any new challenge. So far, your ‘remote control’ was with the other people and they were deciding when you should be happy or sad. But now you will decide and manage your emotions.
Even if you fail again, you should not endorse that it is justified to be angry as then you will lose your power to improve. It is just like that we endorse that diseases like high blood pressure, high sugar level, hypertension, and obesity are common and are a part of life. It is not natural; it is a disease that should be corrected at any cost.