Be Your Own Benchmark : Stop Imitating, Start Becoming

The Story of the Baby Elephant

In a village, baby elephants were tied with a small rope to a wooden stake. They didn’t even try to break free. When someone asked the trainer why such a strong animal didn’t escape, the trainer replied:

“When they are very young, we tie them with the same rope, and they aren’t strong enough to break free. Over time, they stop trying. They grow up believing the rope still holds them.”

Moral of the Story

That’s exactly how limiting beliefs work. The rope isn’t real, but we believe it is.

“Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” — Rumi

Limiting Beliefs

From a young age, many of us are encouraged to look up to role models — people who inspire us, whom we wish to emulate. This is quite natural. We often set ambitious goals like:

• I want to be a cricketer like Virat Kohli.
• I want to become a tech visionary like Bill Gates.
• I want to build an empire like Jeff Bezos.
• I want to dance like Tiger Shroff.
• I want to speak as powerfully as Barack Obama.

There’s nothing wrong with admiring others and drawing inspiration from their journeys. Role models can ignite our dreams and give shape to our ambitions. They help us channel our energy and focus toward a specific path, be it to:

• Emulate someone like Sister Shivani for her calm and clarity,
• Achieve success like Mark Zuckerberg,
• Gain popularity like Shah Rukh Khan,
• Build wealth like Mukesh Ambani, or
• Earn respect and admiration like Ratan Tata.

As the saying goes: If you aim for the stars, you might land on the moon. Even if you don’t become exactly like your hero, the journey itself can take you far.

But Here’s the Real Problem

The risk in idolising someone too closely is that you may begin to lose sight of your own unique identity. Questions like:

• Who am I?
• What makes me different?
• What are my true strengths?
• What am I truly capable of?

…often get buried under the shadow of someone else’s image.

In an interview, Manoj Vasudevan (World Champion of Public Speaking, Toastmasters 2017) recounted a powerful moment. When an audience member expressed their desire to become a speaker like him, Manoj turned the question around. He asked:
“Who do you think is the best and most respected speaker in the world?”
The audience responded, “Barack Obama.”
Then Manoj asked, “Who does Obama speak like?”
After a pause, someone replied, “Like himself!”

To that, Manoj said:
“If the world’s best speaker speaks like himself, why would you want to imitate someone else? Why not become a better version of yourself?”

That message hits deep, and it’s true for every aspect of life.

“The only limit to our realisation of tomorrow is our doubts of today.” — Franklin D. Roosevelt

What Should You Do Instead?

We are all born different, and that’s our greatest strength. You have talents and potential that are entirely your own. Instead of competing with someone else’s story, compete with your past self. That’s how growth happens.

Setting goals is essential, but they should reflect your vision, not someone else’s. Use the SMART+E framework to guide you:

• S – Specific: Define exactly what you want. Vague goals like “be happy” or “get fit” are hard to pursue without clarity.
• M – Measurable: Can you track your progress? Examples: body fat%, promotion, steps walked, rewards earned.
• A – Achievable: Is it realistic given your time, resources, and constraints?
• R – Relevant: Does it matter to your life right now?
• T – Time-bound: Attach a timeline to stay accountable.
• E – Exciting: If achieving it makes you feel thrilled, it’s the right goal. You should feel like you must have it.

When your goals come from within, you become your own benchmark. You stop looking outward for validation. You cheer yourself on, just like a passionate IPL crowd, and surprise yourself with how far you can go.

Conclusion

Your vision, not the sky, is your true limit.
The moment you shift your focus inward, stop imitating, and start creating your own path, you move beyond every barrier, including the imaginary ceiling we’ve been taught to believe in.
Break those beliefs. Define your own sky.

“You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.” — Andrew Murphy