Story: Businessman, Sage and Ring (Source: Google Baba)
Once upon a time, an affluent man lived in a city. He was a very successful businessman with an abundance of wealth. But still, he was always worried and restless. One day he met a sage in his hermitage which was situated in the forest next to a nearby village. When the man met with the sage, he shared his problem with the sage that he had no shortage of anything but still, he was always worried.
The sage heard his problem and replied calmly, “Come tomorrow, I will tell you how to stay happy and worry-free.”
The next Day, the man reached the hermitage of the sage at the same time. He saw that the sage was looking for something outside his hermitage.
The person asked, “What are you looking for? May I help you!”
The sage replied, “I have lost my ring and I am searching for the same.”
After hearing this, the person also started searching for a ring along with the sage. Even after searching for a long time, the ring was not found. And, then the person asked the sage, “Where did your ring fall exactly?”
The sage said, “My ring fell in the hut of the hermitage. But it is very dark there, so I am looking for the ring outside the hut.”
The person was surprised and asked, “If your ring fell in the hut, then why are you looking out here??? How will you find the thing here outside, which is inside there?”
The sage smiled and replied, “My dear son, this is the solution to your problem.”
The person was looking towards Sage with curious eyes. The sage continued, “You came with the problem that you have no shortage of anything; but still, you are not happy with your life. Happiness is right there inside you, but you are looking for it outside in the materialistic world i.e., money and foreign goods.”
The sage added with a smiling face, “The entire ocean is inside you, but still, you are looking for water outside with a spoon. Money or property is important in life, but happiness cannot be bought only with money. Look for the happiness within you, it’s there and you do not need to search for it in the outside world.”
The rich man was enlightened. The sage had communicated the message in a very powerful way. This worked as food for thought and gave the rich man an opportunity to introspect. He worked on the advice of a sage and found happiness within him.
During the day, we meet different people. Some make you happy and some unhappy. We do get happy when someone says that,
- Your dress is looking good.
- Your presentation is very effective.
- Your skin is flawless.
- You speak very well.
- Your sense of humour is amazing.
Similarly, we get offended, feel sad, get demoralized and start feeling low when someone says that,
- Your dress sense is pathetic.
- Your presentation skills are poor.
- Your skin is oily.
- At least think once, before you speak.
- Why you are always so serious?
In both the above scenarios, you are the same person and the reactions may be coming from different people whom you may be meeting. You may be the same person but still people have different perspectives about you. Can you do something about it?
I remember once I was attending the PTM (Parents Teacher Meeting) of my younger son when he was in class VIII. When we met the English teacher and asked about the performance of our son, she said,
- Your son is very talkative.
- He disturbs the entire class.
- I have reminded him many times but he never listens.
After listening to the negative response from the teacher, we thought, should we go and meet the other subject teachers too? Somehow, we generated confidence and went to the next room to meet the Mathematics teacher. Even before she could give her feedback (assuming that it may be negative!), we initiated the talking by saying that we knew that our son was very talkative and disturbed the entire class. To our surprise, she responded that,
- If children don’t talk at this age when they will?
- I think, your child is pretty active and networks very well with his friends.
- Let him grow naturally and enjoy the life. If not now, then when?
we were looking into each other eyes and wondering about the stark difference in opinion of another teacher about the same child and his activity.
As long as we keep the remote control of our happiness, in our hands, whatever good or bad, people may say, we know, what is right. But when we give the remote control of our happiness to people, we go through different emotions throughout the day (up and down). People decide when we should feel ‘wow’ and when ‘sad’.
As per the Forbes study in 2023, globally, more than 28% of people have symptoms of depression and it is growing at the rate of 25%. It means an average of one member in a family (assuming 4 members in a family) is having symptoms of depression!
This state of unhappiness is resulting in increased cases of suicide, drugs, divorce and high job attrition.
That brings up an interesting question. Who should decide your happiness? Is it you or the people around you? People may say what they think is right and it can be other way also. We may have a LONG list of people who may be making us feel worthy and unworthy! But YOU know the best what is right for you.
There are two worlds, inner and outer. We do not have control over the outside world but we can have control over our internal world. Some of the possible ways to do it is by,
- What we talk to ourselves creates our inner world.
- When I start telling myself that I created happiness and hurt rather than people, I start taking ownership of myself.
- When I stop blaming the situation and people, my inner world gets strengthened.
- The day I start accepting the praise of others with stability and equanimity, I generate the inner power to accept the anger, insult and impulsive behaviour of other people.
Does it mean that I should never feel unhappy or I should always pretend that I am happy? The answer is No. There will be some decisions, and there may be some situations which can create hurt but we need to OWN the responsibility and need to work on it.
The choice is within me, who should control my happiness.