Willpower vs. Instant Gratification: The Key to Achieving Your Goals
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Story: The Marshmallow Experiment (Source: Internet)
The experiment (by Stanford University) began by bringing each child into a private room, sitting them down in a chair and placing a marshmallow (chocolate) on the table before them.
At this point, the researcher offered a deal to the child.
The researcher told the child that he would leave the room and that if the child did not eat the marshmallow while he was away, they would be rewarded with a second marshmallow. However, if the child decided to eat the first one before the researcher came back, then they would not get a second marshmallow.
So, the choice was simple: one treat right now or two treats later.
The researcher left the room for 15 minutes.
As you can imagine, the footage of the children waiting alone in the room was rather entertaining. Some kids jumped up and ate the first marshmallow as soon as the researcher closed the door. Others wiggled and bounced and scooted in their chairs as they tried to restrain themselves, but eventually gave in to temptation a few minutes later. And finally, a few of the children did manage to wait the entire time.
Published in 1972, this popular study became known as The Marshmallow Experiment, but it wasn’t the treat that made it famous. The interesting part came years later.
The Power of Delayed Gratification
As the years rolled on and the children grew up, the researchers conducted follow-up studies and tracked each child’s progress in several areas. What they found was surprising.
The researchers followed each child for more than 40 years and over and over again. The children who were willing to delay gratification and waited to receive the second marshmallow ended up having higher SAT scores, lower levels of substance abuse, lower likelihood of obesity, better responses to stress, better social skills as reported by their parents, and generally better scores in a range of other life measures.
In other words, this series of experiments proved that the ability to delay gratification was critical for success in life.
Moral of the Story:
The moral of the story of the Marshmallow Experiment is that the ability to delay gratification is a crucial factor in achieving long-term success and overall well-being. The experiment demonstrated that children who could resist the temptation of an immediate reward in favour of a larger, future reward tended to have better outcomes in various aspects of life, such as academic performance, health, stress management, and social skills. This underscores the importance of self-control, patience, and perseverance in attaining meaningful and lasting achievements.
What is the meaning of Instant Gratification?
Instant gratification is the desire to experience pleasure or fulfilment without delay or deferment. It refers to the urge to satisfy a need or want immediately, rather than waiting for a more rewarding outcome that might take time to achieve. This concept is often associated with impulsive behaviour and the tendency to prioritize short-term rewards over long-term benefits. Like,
• we want to become instantaneously popular on social media and for that, we are willing to do anything,
• we want to get a quick promotion in the office and for that, we are willing to backstab our colleagues,
• Although we know that my weight is increasing but still, I cannot control my desire to eat deep-fried snacks or sweets.
Why it is Important to Identify the Symptoms of Instant Gratification?
What’s wrong with instant gratification – isn’t it true that ‘you only live once and that life is meant to be enjoyed?’
Yes, life is meant to be enjoyed but perhaps not wasted. Identifying the symptoms of instant gratification is crucial, as it can significantly impact various aspects of life. Here are some key points highlighting the importance of recognizing these symptoms:
• Personal Development and Self-Control: Awareness of these tendencies can lead to more thoughtful and informed decision-making, rather than impulsive actions driven by immediate desires. Like, many of my colleagues have left the organization immediately when they had a tiff with their boss, without realizing whether they are ready for the changing expectations of the market and how much money they have to run the family without a job!
• Mental and Physical Health: Recognizing tendencies for instant gratification can lead to healthier lifestyle choices, such as improved diet and exercise habits. Like I have seen people shouting at others like a mad dog when someone scratches their vehicle without realising the enormous loss that they are incurring to their mental and physical health.
• Financial Stability: Impulsive spending is a common symptom of instant gratification. By identifying and addressing this behaviour, individuals can improve their financial stability and save for future needs. These days, the stock market is booming in India. Many are investing their hard-earned money without understanding the volatile market and its impact if the market crashes.
• Relationships and Social Skills: Understanding and managing the urge for immediate gratification can improve relationships, as individuals become more patient and considerate. As it can lead to improved social interactions and stronger, more meaningful connections with others. In the last 20 years, the divorce rate has been increasing alarmingly in India. In the majority of the cases, it is difficult to identify the real cause of the breakup!
• Overall Well-Being and Satisfaction: While instant gratification provides short-term pleasure, managing it leads to greater long-term satisfaction and happiness. Recognizing and addressing these symptoms builds resilience and adaptability, as individuals learn to handle delayed rewards and overcome challenges. Life is unpredictable. No one can find the solution to each problem but we can prepare ourselves for any challenges in life by accepting things and improving them further.
How to Overcome Instant Gratification?
Managing instant gratification is a continuous process that requires self-awareness, discipline, and planning. By setting clear goals, practising self-control, creating a supportive environment, developing healthy habits, learning from failures, and staying accountable, we can effectively take care of instant gratification and achieve long-term success and fulfilment. The following are some simple steps.
• Watch the Craving: We all have the impulse to check on email or social media, to eat something sweet or fried, to procrastinate or to find distractions (checking Whatsapp every 5 minutes!). Having a craving is common for all of us. We can be mindful in identifying the incidents when we had the urge and whether we failed or succeeded.
• Delay the Craving: Instead of acting on the urge right when it arises, pause. Don’t act right away. Put some space between the urge and our action by consciously thinking about the reason why I should not do it. Example: Even if I have written a nasty mail to my boss, do not mail it!
• Make a Conscious Decision: If we want to eat the deep-fried snack, nothing wrong, let’s go ahead with it. But we should be mindful that I am taking a decision and it is healthy for my body and my body can afford it. Example: I had watched an entire web series in one go, let me accept it and see its impact on my mind and body.
• Learn over time: There is nothing wrong in giving up to the craving but it is important to feel later, how it affects your body. When next time, again a similar impulse appears, you will instantaneously remember what you experienced last time. Over time, it will help to make better decisions. Example: If I had spoken badly to my friend, I know how it impacted the long friendship and what not to be in future.
• Enjoy the moment without following the Yearning: End of the day, the most important thing in life is to enjoy life to the fullest and live in the present moment. There can be better ways to enjoy life rather than doing something out of instant gratification and later cribbing for it. Either decision can lead to equal happiness if done mindfully and consciously.
Although it is challenging to beat instant gratification by living more consciously and mindfully, we can benefit a lot.
100 years ago, Henry Longfellow said it very well in this poem:
“The heights by great men reached and kept, Were not attained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept, Toiled ever upward through the night.”
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